In May this year I became a mum for the first time to a beautiful daughter. To say I was naive about what a life changing milestone this would be was an understatement.
Four to five months prior to leaving Situations I sat down with my Directors to discuss how long I would have off and what hours I would do when returning to work. Both Directors are also mums so were very supportive but must have been chuckling to themselves at my proposal of every day being different start times and end times. Any mum will realise routine is of importance with children. I had also planned out what days I would be going to the gym before work. I don’t think gym now even exists in my vocab!
A couple of months before my return to work date loomed I asked my directors if we could meet to discuss and review my hours I would return on. They must have been waiting for this call! They knew I had realised I was trying to be super woman and my previous proposal had been unrealistic if I had wanted to remain a sane woman. It was such a relief to have flexible employers who understood and supported me in my decisions.
As well as trial days at the childminder before returning to work I also had to think about my work wardrobe. Having been in my jeans and t-shirts for 5 months I wondered what it would be like to put a dress and heels on. Would my wardrobe still fit me? I also felt the excitement of this and wanted to buy something new for my first day back. It almost felt like starting a new job. The anxiety was also there- would I remember how to do things and would I still be good at my job or would my brain have turned to mush?
My first day back arrived. I was up 3 hours before I needed to be at work- a distant memory was getting up half an hour before, refreshed from a full nights sleep, and still being on time. The checklist started- did I have clean bottles, enough milk and nappies, changes of clothes for my daughter? Would she be too hot or cold in what I had put her in? Had I packed my lunch, did I have all I needed to express at work so she would then have enough milk for the next day? The list went on. I then had to drive to the other end of the island to do drop off, express and beat the traffic into town. Whilst this all sounds manic I actually really enjoyed the buzz and actually whilst driving along the coast road with high tide I thought wow how lucky am I! I could be stuck on a motorway getting stressed about the traffic but instead I am tootling along on my merry way.
I walked into the office and was greeted by my colleagues and a lovely bunch of flowers. I think the office expected me to be in floods of tears due to leaving my daughter. However, during the 5 months we had spent some time apart which I think really helped me not to be a hormonal crying wreck during my first week back. A couple of hours later it felt like I had never been away. I was using my brain again and enjoying a warm cup of tea and adult conversation.
Whilst I miss my daughter, though she was in a mood with me when I picked her up from the childminder, only needed me for milk and was fine without me (which upset me) and was then stuck for things to do at the end of the day to ensure I was still spending quality time with her, I still felt both of us had benefitted from me going back to work. She was getting more stimulation than I was able to provide her on a day to day basis and so was I from work. They say a happy mum is a happy child, which I do believe. We now treasure weekends and make sure we do something each Saturday and Sunday that is for her/us to do all together.
Comments
Leave yours below.